What It Takes To Be A Successful Politician In the Philippines

If you want to be a successful politician in the Philippines, then you have to be brave, moneyed, determined, influential, charismatic, and you need to have a likable wife or adorable son or daughter.
1. brave - so you can defend yourself from the ones who want to take your seat or assassinate you
2. moneyed - so you can buy votes for you to win the elections or pay comelec commissioners and all those involved in those cheatings
3. determined - to make projects and get cuts from them so that you can replenish your bank accounts from the withdrawals you had made during the elections and open other anonymous accounts to hide what you have corrupted
4. influential - so that whatever you say, that is what people believe
5. charismatic - so that people will always believe in you even if they hear negative things about you and what you have done and even fight for your honor.
6. likable wife or adorable son or daughter - so that when your term ends, you can let them run in the elections and you can run for another position and you can switch seats when your terms end. hahaha